Missing you tonight

I sit here missing you my sweet boy. For the first time in a month I am allowing myself to think about you being gone. And as much as I want to feel sorry for myself there are too many people out there that wont let me and I am so grateful for them. They keep me going, moving forward, and believing that I will get through this. I have stopped myself everyday from focusing on you being gone and instead I try to remember the good times. The times we would laugh and poke fun at each other. The times that bring a smile to my face. Its so hard though. In those remminesent thoughts of happiness tears come to my eyes becuase I know that I will never have another memory with you. There will never be another laugh, another embrace, another moment to remember forever. Your time here with me is over yet your memory will be with me forever. I am not getting over you but I am moving on with you as my strength. You have made me such a better person. So much more confident, loving, and caring. You have opened my eyes to so much. You were a truely amazing person and I hope to make you proud. I hope to carry out your legacy forever. You are missed so much baby and I hate that your gone but I know that you would not want me to sit around in sorrow and pain. No you would want me to be strong, stop crying, and carry on. I am trying, I fail sometimes at it, but I am trying. I miss you so much and I will always miss you. Watch over me sweet boy. Keep me safe and lead me to happiness. I need you now but know that the people in my life will help fill the emptiness that you left behind. I wish you were here Bradley. You were my everything. My heart is broken but I am trying to pick up the pieces. Good night my sweet hero.