Babe,

Hi baby. I really don't know what to say tonight. I guess today was one of the days that I just feel overwhelmed without you being here. I guess today despite being in the midst of a good friend I feel so alone and so empty. I know I will feel this way for a long time. You would be proud of me though... I'm not being antisocial!! I am talking to strangers... I am letting people help me and be nice to me... you wouldn't belive how many strangers Ive actually emailed back. I know weird right? Everyone has been so nice to me. Everyone has offered to do anything for me... unfortunately no one is able to bring you home to me. I wish they could.

I miss you more than words can say. I am so sad without you. I am trying I really am Brad, I am trying to be strong. I am trying to stay positive... but its really hard. I know you always told me happiness is a choice... but I just don't know. How can I choose to be happy that you're gone? I wish you were here. Chloe is getting her first tooth in and all I want to do is call you and tell you about it. I know how excited you would be. I know you would talk about how sweet that girl is and how much you love her. I know you would say you cant wait to get home to give her a bath and read her a book. I KNOW that you loved her with all of your heart. And I KNOW you would have been such an AMAZING father. I guess what really scares me the most is that she is going to have to grow up not and know her Daddy. I just remember never being able to go to the Father Daughter dances, or learning how to change my oil, or go fishing or anything else that Dads do with their daughters. I will tell her about you everyday and there will be pictures on the wall above her crib but its just not the same. I will try to love her for the both of us and I hope that I will do a good job and raise her with the same morals and principals that we had talked about. But it is going to be so hard to do it without you. I was depending on you to help me when she wanted to learn how to ride a bike. Or when she started driving. Even more so when she started dating... I cant be as intimidating as you. I cant be be as strong without you and I don't know how I am going to do this. It is just the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with and I feel so insecure with my abilities to be a single mom. I never thought that this would happen. I wasn't prepared for you to leave us. I feel like giving up but I cant because I have to be there for Chloe. Please help me be strong for her and raise her the best I can. I love you Bradley and I miss you so much. Today was a bad day and I hope that tomorrow is better. I am so lonely without you and there is nothing that anyone can do. I love you.

Love,
Your extremely lonely wife