Good night Brad,

Hey sweet boy. For most of the day today I felt numb. It was hard to be sad, or happy, or even angry. It's like my emotions are on a switch but I don't know who is controlling them. It is most definitely not me. One day I miss you, another I am mad at you. One day I think your'e still alive, then I realize you're dead. Some times I truly believe there was some sort of mistake. Other days I start accepting reality. Most days I feel like I cant go on a single day with out you.

Brad I miss you my sweet boy. I miss everything about you. My heart aches. My body hurts. My soul is longing for you. I need you. I have always needed you. I will forever need you. I can no longer have you like I once did. I can no longer see or feel the Brad I love. I can only have you by the many memories we have made together and by the moments we shared loving, laughing, and living. I mean what I said when I said "I do". I had so much love to give you. We had so much life to live together. We were supposed to be together forever. "Until death do us part" came sooner than I could have ever expected. I hate this Brad, I hate that you are dead and there is nothing I can do to change it.

Please meet me in my dreams. I need to see you. I need to kiss you. I need you to be here for me. I am so scared to live without you. Please please just come back to me. Please.

I love you,

Your lonely wife.